its no big deal...but... i've been wanting a kitty..and there are free ones all over the place.. and well i keep visiting them and just getting torn when i realize i cant get one. it's no big deal. its not like i cant get one ever..its just that i have to wait until i have time to go to a humane society and get one from there....i found the cutest one today...silvery gray, female with whitish stripes..she was SOOO cute, and she stayed with me when all the others ran...but no....a free one is not realistic, they are not really free... have to go to a shelter so its not so expensive to do all the shots and stuff....very true. but this truth makes me sad because i just don't have time to go find a humane society and figure out if i can even get one..they are always closed when i get off of work or not open on the weekends...i would love to say i am going there because of the saving a kitty part of it but thats not it cuz i truly believe i am giving ones dropped off on peoples farms randomly a better life too. but its too expensive to get a free farm cat...so tonight im sad. cuz i am lonely. and i would love to have something to pet and cuddle and hug. i like my job, i like my boy, but i need something who really really needs me and depends on me....it must be what megan calls the motherliness of being a woman coming out. plus. a cat would be my friend (other than the great person i live with)..something that i am lacking in in my new little place.
so i am sad. and i want to cry. and i want to go home. and i want my mom. and i want to be 8 again.
even in the good weeks there is a hard day...
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